Kevin Bailey Is The Guy Who Keeps Asking A Girl Out After She Says No

A little while back, I followed another video game Kickstarter that I was going to watch fail. But its failure ended up happening right between Leviathan’s success and Silber’s failure, and those were more interesting. Were. Since then, however, shit got real.

First, the project showed up again the very next day. Apparently, Kevin Bailey decided that raising only $2,116 of his $12,500 goal meant that he should simply toss the project up again with a goal of $7,000. This was good news for me, however, since it made for more fodder for my hatred, and gave me a second chance to post about its failure right at the moment of death. It’s the kind of bullshit I always rant about: if he really needed that $12,500 to begin with, how was able to make the game for $5,500 less all of a sudden? He doesn’t need the money, he just wants to grab whatever cash he can as soon as he can, and “supporting game development” is a great excuse. So I waited impatiently for its deadline, so I could bask in Kevin’s second failure in a row. But then, one day, the project disappeared from my “Following” list.

In my self-aggrandizing fantasy, Kevin was terrified of me writing this post on his embarrassing double-failure, and immediately cancelled the project. He tried to deny me the pleasure of tearing apart his pathetic attempt at conning people out of their money. But Kevin fucked up. He underestimated my wrath, thinking that if he only moved his project to Indiegogo, I would never find it, having focused my attention solely on Kickstarter. Well, Kevin, you’re mine now, bitch! Take it like the whore you are.

Firstly, it’s all too obvious that the reason for the switch to Indiegogo is that Kevin doesn’t need to reach his project goal to get whatever money some morons on the internet thought he actually deserved. But secondly, speaking of goals, take a look at the current goal on Indiegogo. Now look at the second Kickstarter project. Then look at the first. It seems that game development gets cheaper and cheaper every day! Kevin might as well just hold out another few months until it only takes a single dollar to fund his game. That might actually be an attainable goal for him.

But you know the truth, right? Kevin doesn’t need a cent of this money to finish his game. What he needs is to stop wasting his time making bullshit crowdfunding projects and finish his god damn game already. Think about all of the time it would take to create these 3 projects, make videos for them, advertise them, and update them. He could have easily finished his obscenely simple iOS game in that time.

“Well, maybe not,” you might say, “I know a thing or two about game development, and it’s not easy, and takes a long time.” Well, first of all, GET OUT OF MY HEAD. And then, take a look at the platforms that Kevin has promised for this game: OUYA, iOS, Android, PC, Mac, and Linux. How versatile of him! And it just happens to be all of the supported non-console platforms for Unity 4. And the OUYA isn’t even out yet – not even the SDK has been released – so there’s no fucking way he could know that he’ll be able to make anything on it, except for the fact that Unity is a launch partner of OUYA.

So he’s making the game on a free engine that automatically takes care of all platform-specific development, and adding support for iOS and Android (it’s worth noting that OUYA is Android-based) at $400 a piece, and somehow needs several thousand dollars? What are the funds for exactly? Well, according to the Kickstarter page:

“We have chosen to utilize indiegogo to assist us in raising the additional funds needed to fully design and develop Skipping Turtles for OUYA, iOS, and Android.”

Oh, sorry, that was the Indiegogo page. According to the Kickstarter page:

“We have chosen to utilize Kickstarter to assist us in raising the additional funds needed to fully design and develop Skipping Turtles for OUYA, iOS, and Android.”

If Kevin puts the same care into his games that he does for his crowdfunding projects, Skipping Turtles is going to be the biggest pile of shit ever. Not only could he not come up with a good excuse for taking money over the course of 3 projects, but the entire thing is copy/pasted. I can almost hear Kevin saying “Fuck it, whatever, just give me some money” while looking over these pages. But this might be my favourite:

“We also have some exciting stretch goals if we reach our initial goal before campaign ends.”

So wait, not only did you make up some bullshit reason to get more money (how does getting extra money translate to more game features exactly?), but you won’t even tell anyone about them until you’ve reached your initial goal? That makes no god-damned sense. If you already have these plans, why are they secret? You’re supposed to incentivize people to give you more money with all of your promises for extra levels or more options, or whatever game features you plan to magically convert from money.

Oh, right: you don’t have any plans. You can’t even appropriately describe where the money for your initial goal is going in the first place, so why would you have laid out any stretch goal plans? You’re a real piece of shit work, Kevin. You had to resort to Indiegogo because you knew your project would never even reach a modest $4,500 goal after two utter failures on Kickstarter. So now you’re just scraping the bottom of the crowdfunding barrel, and walking home with whatever you can get, funding goals be damned. You are a disgrace to game development.

I don’t even feel like writing about your shitty project anymore. I’m going to go shoot some people in Borderlands 2, and pretend they’re you.

Because it’s too hilariously ironic, I just wanted to point out that I got the top image from this post, while Google image searching “girl reject”. For the record, I think this is bad advice.
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17 thoughts on “Kevin Bailey Is The Guy Who Keeps Asking A Girl Out After She Says No

  1. Another great post. Muck raking will become ever more in demand with the bad/insincere/unrealistic projects flooding Kickstarter.

    What do you think about:

    Also, but news – the Lodus funding spike looks legit:

    • davidgaames says:

      You know, I had been ignoring that Old School RPG thing, but reading it now, it’s kind of annoying. They act like no one is making old-school RPGs these days, so I’m convinced they just haven’t ever been on the internet. And they’re a little *too* proud of being indie, acting as though any type of funding at all (except for crowdfunding, apparently) is the devil. I think it warrants a post about Kickstarter vs investor/publisher funding, because I see that attitude way too often.

      And are you saying that Project Lodus is legit because of the number of backers that day? Because the average amount per backer is still really suspicious. The day before, they averaged just under $30 per backer. The last day averaged over $256 per backer. And because I had been following it at the time, I know that it wasn’t the last 24 hours of the campaign, but the last 14. Maybe I’m overly-suspicious, but it does seem to warrant more analysis.

      • Okay – slightly more legit. If the average per backer amount continued, how much would a single donor have to kick in to hit the number?

      • davidgaames says:

        The total average for 7/10 through 8/13 was $63.36 per backer. Had that continued for the last day, the 112 backers would have made them $7,096.32 – leaving a staggering $21,419.68 extra in donations.

      • Obviously I failed to dig deep enough.

        So then what you are telling me is that in the final day of the Kickstarter, average donations jumped four-fold?

      • davidgaames says:

        Pretty much. The last day had over ten times the number of average backers per day (about 10), and just over 4 times the average amount per backer. Even if it gained a lot of interest through some article or something (which I’ve been looking for, and can’t find), an *average* donation of $256 is insane. One backer even went for the $2,500 reward level. Looking into it even more, it seems that the last few pages (and ONLY the last few pages) of their backer list are filled with people who joined up in July/August of this year, and have only backed Project Lodus. I’d bet that Kickstarter orders that backer list chronologically by the time of each pledge. This just gets more and more suspicious the more I look at it…

      • If you want to turn our continuing commentary into a guest post, I would love to put our suspicions up for the whole world to see – and get your blog more traffic to boot!

        How’s next Sunday?

      • davidgaames says:

        That sounds like a fantastic idea. I would have to finish it before I leave on Friday for the weekend, but that’s totally doable.

  2. Man, awesome post and even better comments! I was wondering about that – I’m sure some Kickstarter projects go in with a set amount of cash they are willing to fork over themselves to ensure success in the end. Look forward to reading more!

  3. Do you think there’s ever a valid reason to try resubmitting for different amounts? I ask mainly because of the currently running comics KS for “Nowhere Man”. This is the guy’s fourth attempt to fund his book since October 2010. First time he asked for $10k, second time for $2k, third time for $5k, and now $2.5k. He may be getting further towards completion each time. Hard to say, as he only posted completed art pages on the fourth try. On the first KS, he wrote “The entire has already been scripted (will tweak for depth and other revisions)”, and man, that kind of soured me on the whole thing. Tweak for depth? You’d think he’d be shooting for “depth” in the first draft.

    • Resubmissions are only valid, in my mind, when the scope of the project has changed or significant improvements have been made. Look to “The Keep” for an excellent example.

    • davidgaames says:

      Great question. In general, yes, there are situations in which attempting your project again for different amounts would make sense. Off the top of my head, I’d say either supplementing your funding elsewhere, or changing the scope of the project. Both of those come with their own problems, of course, but it’s at least a legitimate reason. But failing and then restarting your campaign for an even greater amount is utterly absurd, and some people just can’t take a hint. I’d say this “Nowhere Man” project fits into that group.
      Also, “tweaking for depth” is possibly the worst thing to say, and likely a reason for his repeated failures.

  4. Anonymous Concerned Citizen says:

    Came across this post researching Kevin Bailey’s latest project, a kickstarter competitor, . I was hoping it may be legit because I was thinking of utilizing this platform but after seeing your post, I’ve got to know more. Is this guy a complete fraud or what? How can you not raise funds for your game and then launch a crowdfunding platform? I hope you’ll look into this David.

    • davidgaames says:

      On one hand, I wouldn’t dismiss this new project just because Kevin wants money for seemingly no good reason. I’d say he started the site because he likes the idea of crowdfunding, but can’t get his own game funded, so why not start a video game crowdfunding site, and take a piece of some worthwhile games’ funding. It may be a little sleazy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way to get funding for your game.
      On the other hand, it just seems unnecessary. There are enough crowdfunding sites out there, and Kickstarter has become known for video games – why do we need a site specifically for it? The only reason at all I can think that this site may be worthwhile is if it has more in-depth searching tools, to find the type of game you want. The entire goal of crowdfunding is getting the most exposure for your project to be a success. With sites that are already perfectly serviceable for this, why give GameLaunched a second glance?

  5. Steve Murphy says:

    takeluck3 is also attached to some survey app? Biting off more than he can chew or just lame wanna be?

  6. […] Kevin Bailey isn’t the quitting sort, either, Craig. That’s not necessarily a good thing. So what did our persistent friend learn from his failure? […]

  7. […] in October, I thought Kevin Bailey was the most shameful example of desperately trying to swindle people out of money over and over […]

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