And now for something actually (kind of) different. It’s not about Kickstarter!
I haven’t given up on tearing apart stupid Kickstarter projects. In fact, I’ve been meaning to post about David Crane’s abomination, but I missed the moment of death, so now there’s just no rush. And there’s something else that recently caught my attention. And history has shown that when something catches my attention with regards to this blog, it’s never a good sign for that thing.
If you are unaware (as I would be, were it not for my YouTube addiction), there is an event, of sorts, going on called the Indie Uprising. The idea for this event is to give exposure to the very best of the Xbox Live Indie Games, which Microsoft has shut away harder than Harry Potter. Not that I can blame them. I was excited about the Indie Games channel until I saw the filth that came out of it. Even the very best of XBLIG is worse than most of the Flash games you’ll find on Newgrounds. So maybe the Indie Uprising was doomed from the start. Or maybe really pretentious assholes just shouldn’t run it.
I’m just going to paste the first sentence of the description for one of the games.
“Sententia is an “art game” that explores the challenges we face to keep our imagination alive as we grow.”
You know this game is a piece of shit already, right? How could it not be? It calls itself an “art game”. Look, you’re either in the camp that games are art, or that they’re not. I think they are. If you say they’re not, then I just think you’re stupid, and we move on. The developer of Sententia, however, seems to be saying that only some games are art, and Sententia is one of them. I don’t just think he’s stupid. I know it.
What distinguishes an “art game” from other games? If Sententia is any indication, it’s fun. Art games aren’t fun. It’s the perfect excuse to have a shitty game; you weren’t trying to entertain, but to present a deep experience. It’s the same logic that Chris Crawford used with his “educational game”. It wasn’t supposed to be fun, because it was educational.
Don’t buy games from these assholes. These aren’t brilliant game designers revolutionizing interactive entertainment, they’re just the same pretentious dipshits that every industry has. They look down on your “fun” games as not being serious, mature entertainment. And they think that the answer to making games a serious form of art is to remove the element of fun. If it’s not obvious to you why that’s completely retarded, get the fuck off my blog.
Thankfully, I’m not the only one who feels this way about Sententia. But I feel that I should note that during the research for this post, I found out that the developer of Sententia, Michael Hicks (under the appropriately pretentious pseudonym “MichaelArts”) is only 19 years old. You may think that I’d cut him a little slack because of that. You’d be wrong, because that only makes it worse.
This isn’t some old man *cough*ChrisCrawford*cough* yelling at kids to get off his lawn with their merrymaking and fun video games. This is a fucking kid, who should be all about having fun, and making games because they’re fun. Not to mention, the game is about growing up – something (most) 19-year-olds don’t know shit about. And it utterly fails at its goal anyway – Sententia is about imagination and growing up in the same way that this is about autumn rhythm. If at 19 you’re already as pretentious and misguided as Chris Crawford (one day I’ll get tired of making that comparison), then all hope is lost. Just start charging $150,000 for your environmental simulator, and leave the “art” to the people who understand that it can still involve fun. And, in fact, that it should.
Also, get the fuck off my lawn, you damn kids and your Calls for Duties. Just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs.