Monthly Archives: September 2012

Anna Is Beautiful, High Maintenance

Here’s something I never intended to do with this blog – a review! I debated on this quite a bit; straying again from the Kickstarter theme may be a bad idea. But, in the end, this blog is more for my sake than yours. I’ve no agenda here; I just like to talk about things, and if you want to read it, then I get to feel important while doing so, and everyone wins. So here we go.

Anna is what you would get if you took Dear Esther and tossed in classic point-and-click adventure game puzzles. I’ll let you decide if that sounds appealing or not. Continue reading

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Post Mortem: Scrooge McDuck’s Jungle Adventure

I blame Wasteland 2. I blame Shadowrun Returns. In fact, I just blame all game developers from the 80’s.

Unlike some people, the above two projects knew their audience: people who played their games over 20 years ago, and now have the means to fund their nostalgia trip. David Crane wanted some of that sweet internet nostalgia money for himself, so he started David Crane’s Jungle Adventure. Continue reading

If Games Are Art, Sententia Is A Jackson Pollock Painting

And now for something actually (kind of) different. It’s not about Kickstarter!

I haven’t given up on tearing apart stupid Kickstarter projects. In fact, I’ve been meaning to post about David Crane’s abomination, but I missed the moment of death, so now there’s just no rush. And there’s something else that recently caught my attention. And history has shown that when something catches my attention with regards to this blog, it’s never a good sign for that thing. Continue reading

Failstarter: AppEater Wants All the Lunchables

And now for something (not so) completely different: a Kickstarter that has not yet failed. It has only just begun. As suggested by a fellow blogger, I have chosen a brand new Kickstarter project, and I’m going to predict how badly it will fail, and tell you why I think that.

Now, I have been sticking with only posting a blog after the project in question has failed for a very good reason: I don’t want to give any exposure to projects that may still get funded. The worry does seem a little silly; this blog is certainly not popular enough to get such traffic to an unworthy project. But with my luck, this blog will blow up right when I post about a Kickstarter in progress. Okay, I don’t actually think that will happen. I guess we’ll find out, though, because that’s exactly what I’m doing now. But just in case, as a quick disclaimer: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT PLEDGE TO THIS PIECE OF SHIT. Continue reading

Cinemaware Out of Touch; No One Surprised

I feel like I shouldn’t be giving advice to potential Kickstarter creators. But I suppose that by pointing out things that I feel they do wrong, I could already be doing so. So fuck it, here’s a freebie: don’t make a video like Cinemaware’s Kickstarter pitch. Continue reading

Forge Wants Your Money to Polish Its Anvil

People must be catching on to this Kickstarter nonsense. I hope that’s the case. It would certainly explain why a video from YouTube’s TotalBiscuit can’t even generate the interest necessary to meet your funding goal.

Dark Vale Games doesn’t really need your money. That’s true of all of the games I’ve covered here of course, but it feels particularly¬†true this time. Because they’re admitting that their game, Forge, is almost complete already. They even admit that they’re not using Kickstarter to “kick-start” the project, but rather to “kick-finish” it. So what does kick-finishing entail? Continue reading

Global Endemic Online Suffers from the Kickstarter Endemic

Clearly, CircleBox Studios never read my first blog post about Zombie Apocalypse Pipe Dream Game 57. If they had, they never would have attempted their utter failure, Global Endemic Online. It takes everything so over the top, I’d almost think it was a parody.

PZ:O had co-op? GEO is an MMO! PZ:O let you barricade a shelter? GEO lets you build an entire city! It’s like a pipe dream on steroids. Continue reading