“It’s been said that independent developers should focus largely on polish…”
No one has ever fucking said that, Adam. It’s been said that indie developers should stop making up bullshit quotes to excuse the fact that they are trying to steal money from people using empty promises. There, that has been said. I just said it.
Oh, sorry, I was just watching the video for Orbital Blaster, the soon-to-be-failed Kickstarter project from Hashbang Games. They need 79,000 to make an iPad game. I guess for some experienced developers making a really ambitious title, that’s somewhat reasonable.
“Over the last 8 months we have been producing our first game called Orbital Blaster…”
Well, so much for experienced. What is it, are you using some expensive engine or something?
“We develop in Unity3D…”
What the fuck, Hashbang, what are you inexperienced asses using this money for?
“Making a game is not a cheap venture.”
It is when you’re using a free engine.
“Everything costs money, artwork, soundtracks, software, hardware and time.”
I know that saying that time is money, but that’s not literal, guys.
“New software that will enable us to create a better quality product.”
You mean like the free engine you’re using? Does your 3D modeler not already have modeling software? Or do you need to buy the software for the art and music that you’re outsourcing? What software are we talking here?
“New testing hardware that will allow us to test on a wide variety of devices and platforms.”
So you don’t already have iPads, but you want to make an iPad game. And you sure as hell don’t have an Ouya yet, but you’re already promising that the game will be available on it. This is the ultimate hipster move: “we made a game for the Ouya before it even existed.”
“Contracting for sound and artwork to allow us to make a great gaming experience.”
So you don’t have sound or artwork? What do you have? A couple of Unity scripts? After 8 months of development? Yeah, I guess you’re gonna need all the help you can get.
“The more we raise the more we can invest in the product and make it the best it can be.”
Hashbang also has a money-to-quality magic game developing machine! I severely underestimated the rarity of such an item.
“With funding, we’re promising to make Orbital Blaster a better game, by increasing the level variety, adding more weapons, enhancing boss fights, and improving the overall gameplay.”
I realize that that’s what you’re promising, guys. What I don’t quite understand is how the conversion of money-to-better-boss-battles works. Because it sounds like a load of shit. But I guess we’ll never know…
And then, the whimper of a dying Kickstarter.
Okay, so I was doing actual work, and didn’t get there in time to watch it die. Close enough. No free iPads for you, Hashbang. No mysterious expensive software that you’ve been without for the past 8 months of development but suddenly need. And no contractors to hire to make your vision come to life. Better keep those full time jobs, and make this game on your spare time and with your own money just like everybody else who’s not conning gamers around the world to believe in their pipe dreams. Prove that you can actually finish a game. You’re not worth anyone’s donation if you can’t do that.