Asking for $80,000 to make a shitty 2D sidescroller takes some balls. Asking for $1.2 million when you’ve never made a game in your life takes a certain level of retardation. But asking for $500 takes a level of absurdity that neither of the other two other groups could ever know.
And yet, that’s exactly what Better Bug Games is asking for their Myrddin Tales Episode 1 project.
Now, this may seem completely harmless. After all, it’s such an obscenely modest sum, it’s not even worth ranting about, you may say. I disagree. And there are two main reasons I disagree.
First, this is not the first Kickstarter BBG has started. Nor is it the second. They have had 2 previous (successfully funded) Kickstarter projects. And if you thought a $500 goal was low, take a gander at their past.
Their last Kickstarter was for a game called Beer Guzzler, a shitty little Flash game about drinking beer. It may very well be the worst game I’ve ever played, but don’t take my word for it, try it yourself, and tell me if it’s worth the $63 Kickstarter that “funded” it. It may surprise you to learn that the generous gentleman who fully-funded Zombicider did not contribute to Beer Guzzler. Perhaps three more people learned their lesson this time. But how many more dollars must be wasted on this train wreck of a game company?
If the Myrddin Tales Kickstarter has anything to say about it, none. They’ve raised a mere $70 of their $500 goal.
But let me get to the second reason that this Kickstarter is worth ranting about. It has the same attitude toward game development that most do: game development costs money. Why? I don’t know, it just does. So you should give it to us.
This is BBG’s third title. Meaning they have not released a single game without a completely unnecessary Kickstarter “funding” it. The only mention of where the money is going on any of their Kickstarters is for Beer Guzzler: “Any money we get here will help to keep our programmer fed and watered so that he doesn’t have to sell his computer to live”. What is it about indie developers that they think it’s impossible to have any kind of gainful employment while making a game? Their games aren’t even hosted on their site, but on Kongregate, which is ad-supported. In fact, that probably made more money than both Kickstarters put together. BBG would do better to put ads on their site and just have everything there. That way, they could stop wasting everyone’s money, and just waste a little more of their time instead.
And then, the whimper of a dying Kickstarter.
I hope this time it was you who learned your lesson, Better Bug Games. I hope you learned that it doesn’t matter if you ask for very little when you give back even less. I hope your programmer enjoyed those couple of Lunchables that your previous Kickstarters afforded him, because there will be no Lunchables on this day. Today, there is only failure. The thing is, though, I’m sure you’ll make your third shitty little Flash game anyway. Because in truth, you didn’t need this money in order to make it. And that’s why you never should have even asked for it.
And that’s why you suck.